


Last Days of Spring

by Cherikella



Category: Cherik - Fandom, X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Breakup, Death, Depression, Falling In Love, Friendship, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Sadness, Secrets, one-night stand, tw: it gets sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-19 03:43:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5952430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherikella/pseuds/Cherikella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started like a one-night stand but it changed both their lives forever.<br/>When Raven takes her heartbroken brother Charles to a club she does not expect him to fall in love with the random guy he meets there. Charles and Erik start a relationship and everything seems like a fairytale until one day Charles realizes that Erik's keeping a secret. A secret that changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Seeds

Charles was on his bed, curled up in his big Gandalf hat and a blue cloak. His wet with tears blue eyes were staring blankly at the wall and quiet sighs escaped his mouth every now and then.

He heard the key at the front door and curled up under the blanket even more. He knew who it was – his sister Raven. He knew what she wanted – to nag at him for staying home on a Saturday night, depressed about Scott dumping him. It's been two months and she believed it was time he stopped whining about it.

Charles closed his eyes in hope that when she notices this, she’d leave him alone and give up cheering him up already. However, Raven wasn’t one to give up so easily.

“Charles, get up, get dressed and get laid!” Raven announced, barging into his room. “And don’t pretend you’re asleep because I’ll throw that hat away and burn it! Seriously, what’s with you and Gandalf!?”

Charles groaned. “Raven, can’t you just leave me alone?”

“No.” she shook her head and opened his wardrobe “Hmm, your clothes are weirder than your hat. What are you, 80?” She rolled her eyes at Charles but then noticed the melancholic expression of his face and sighed. “You don’t really miss him, Charles." she said tentatively "You miss the good times you had with him. But it wasn’t all good, was it?”

Charles frowned. She actually had a point. He had good times with Scott, especially when they were at that observatory. Charles loved the fun facts about astronomy that he learned there that day. Come to think of it, most of the good memories with Scott didn’t really include Scott. Something to think about. 

Charles sat up and looked up at Raven. She chuckled “Told you I’m magic.” She grinned “Now let’s get you dressed and force you to have fun.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raven took him to a club. A club of all places! Charles had to roll his eyes like a million times.

“How is this fun, Raven? You know clubs aren’t exactly my thing.” he mumbled grumpily 

“You're adorable!" she smiled at him "But trust me, I have a plan. We need to get Scott completely out of your mind so I was thinking—“

“No! Raven, no!” Charles was red as a tomato from embarrassment.

“I didn’t even say what I was thinking!” Raven protested

“I’m not hooking up with a random stranger in a bar!” Charles blurted out, which caused a few random strangers standing close by to look at him head to toe and chuckle approvingly. He blushed even more. This whole enterprise was so embarrassing!

Raven laughed amused. “There’s a first time for everything!” she insisted as she pushed him further inside the club.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Raven, we've been here for hours..." Charles huffed 

"... twenty-five minutes" she corrected him

"... can I go home now?"

“So many cute guys, Charles!" she protested "You must like at least _one_ of them!”

Charles sighed. “I’ll be over there at the bar, hoping to get away from you and drinking my life away.” he said

"No, wait!" 

He could hear her protests and pleadings but he managed to quickly mingle in the crowd and she lost him. This little adventure of escaping right under Raven's nose amused him and he decided to consider that the highlight of the evening.

However there were still too many people around for Charles' liking. Somehow he managed to get through the crowd, reach the bar and take a seat. At least it was less noisy in here, mostly because everyone was at the dance floor groping one another and using dancing as an excuse to grind against their partners. Charles groaned. It was stupid of him to listen to Raven and come here. This was definitely the last place he wanted to be. 

Just as he thought how miserable he was, he heard someone else groan as well. Charles looked up from his drink to where the sound came from and for a moment he [stilled](http://24.media.tumblr.com/63dd89779654f33bc9f0a92475aa8929/tumblr_mqlxseUUwf1s00ervo2_250.gif). It was a nice-looking guy two seats away from Charles.

The [man](http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4bxoqmGiB1rwqz66o1_500.gif) was wearing a black turtleneck and a tired expression on his face. “One more of the same.” he said to the bartender. His voice was husky but manly, and Charles felt shivers down his spine. If anyone was going to help him forget Scott, it was probably this guy.

The man turned his head towards Charles, glaring at him. It was at that moment that Charles realized he was staring – well, let’s be honest, more like _gaping_ – at the man.

He swallowed and looked down at his hands on the bar. “I um... I’m sorry.” He muttered, cheeks red.

The man only shook his head and looked back at his new drink.

Charles couldn’t help but notice that the man looked disturbed. Something was definitely wrong in his life and Charles’ compassionate approach to life urged him to want to help.

“Is everything alright?” he asked carefully.

The man stared back at him, clearly surprised that Charles was trying to start a conversation.

“Why do you ask?” was the reply.

“I just thought… since you’re literally the only person at the bar and not on the dance floor…”

“Not the _only_ one” the man interrupted him “You’re here too.”

A few seconds of silence and then Charles actually laughed. “All the more reason for me to ask then.”

The man frowned “Meaning?”

“I'm here _because_ I’m not alright.” Charles said, not sure why was he telling the stranger this or why was he still smiling. “I just got dumped two months ago, I feel like a fish out of water in this dump and my sister insists I get laid tonight to forget Scott… and I just want to bury my face in my pillow until I stop breathing!”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Charles regretted them. It was the stupidest thing he’d ever said and frankly he was glad he was never gonna see the person who heard him say it after tonight.

The man’s lips were pursed in a tight line and there was a furrow in his brow. “I came here to get so drunk I could hardly tell if I’m dead or alive.” He said, his voice low.

Charles looked at him compassionately. “Heartache?” he asked

“No. Not exactly. Not entirely.” Was the reply

“I guess your plan’s good. Drink until you stop feeling pain…” Charles repeated

“Your plan’s pretty good too.” the man said, his eyes sliding up and down Charles’ frame.

Charles laughed “My _sister_ ’s plan.” He corrected the stranger “Anyway, I doubt a one-night stand could magically replace a 3 year-long relationship.”

“Huh.” The man chuckled to his drink “Depends on who’s it with.” 

Charles raised an eyebrow, a playful smile finding its way to his face now. “Charles Xavier.” He said and slid one chair closer to the stranger.

“Erik Lehnsherr” the man said and slid one chair closer to Charles, crossing the distance between them.

The two were now sitting next to one another, their shoulders brushing as their conversation continued.

They ordered another round of drinks but neither of them actually drunk them. They were too busy talking and laughing, arms and legs casually brushing against one another, hands resting on one another’s thighs until finally they were kissing hungrily. The next Charles knew they were both on their way to Erik’s place, long fingers fumbling with the buttons on Charles’ shirt, warm hands sliding on his chest to caress his body as they were both wrapped into a tight embrace.

And at this moment Charles could not think of how he got dumped by… what’s his name again…?  _'Erik'_ seemed to be the only name he could remember right now.

_It depends on who’s it with._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Charles woke up in Erik’s flat, feeling happy and light and carefree. Then of course he realized what exactly had happened last night and he cursed himself for still being here. Charles had no experience in one night stands but one thing he did know was that they were not supposed to last longer than one night. He sincerely wanted to spare himself the awkward situation that was probably the morning after. So when he looked next to him and saw Erik was still [asleep](http://49.media.tumblr.com/fa329e5883870bd17a506b74bfe8a68e/tumblr_nhryvraBi31tdce71o3_500.gif), he felt relieved. 

Charles slid down from Erik’s bed and quickly gathered his clothes that were scattered around the room, trying to be as quiet as he could. Vague memories of where the front door was guided him outside the apartment and soon he was downstairs, getting a taxi home.

He had more than 20 missed calls from Raven but he was too tired to call back so he only typed in a text

**_I’m okay. I’m home. See you this afternoon. CX_ **

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Details!" Raven insisted 

"Go away, Raven. I'm busy." 

"Details!!" 

"It's personal."

"Details!!!" 

"Tall, lean, pleasantly muscular but not too much, great eyes, great ass and a big smile." Charles gave up

Raven squeaked excitedly for five minutes. Mostly she was happy her brother finally looked at another person after Scott. She would've been happy and grateful to that one-night stand guy even if he was Quasimodo himself. As long as Charles moved on from Scott, it was all good. 

Charles rolled his eyes. 

"It's not just his looks, Raven." he said "There was something else...' 

Raven's enthusiasm quickly calmed down "What else?"

"We connected. It was his personality and my personality and we just--"

"Hold it right there, Charles Francis Xavier!" she interrupted "Do not fall in love with your one-night stand!" 

"I thought you wanted me to--" 

"I wanted you to let go of the past and move on. Not get yourself into more trouble." 

Charles thought for a moment. She was right, she really was. Obviously last night meant nothing but an adventure to Erik so why should Charles make anything more of it? 

He smiled "I'm not in love with him, Raven." 

"Good boy!" 

"I'm just saying he was nice. And maybe if we met under different circumstances..." he sighed. No way he'd ever see Erik again. "He was nice." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been four days since Charles' club adventures and he went back to following his routine. Home, work, Raven, home. Home, work, Raven, home. That was pretty much it. And he liked it.

And yet he could not help himself late at night when his thoughts instinctively drifted in one particular direction - wondering what was Erik doing right now, if he was alright, if he was laughing now or was he feeling down again like when Charles first saw him at that bar... He wished Erik was fine now, he hoped Erik was happy. 

Charles was [grading papers](http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2t6v5Rt7W1r5j9dzo5_250.gif) one evening when he realized his mind was still wondering about Erik. And this time he had to admit it - he was missing Erik. He was missing Erik harder than he expected. He wanted to see Erik again, even if it's just to talk to him, to see his eyes sparkle and hear his laughter one more time. It was pathetic, Charles thought, and he could literally hear Raven's judgmental voice in his head but this was somehow stronger than him. He got his coat and rushed outside. 

He still knew where Erik lived because that's the place Erik took him after they left the bar. Charles also knew how creepy it would be if he'd just show up on Erik's doorstep five days after they... Another sigh. Well, Charles never said it was a smart thing to do. But he hoped Erik would look at it from the romantic side. 

Soon he was at Erik's door, nervous to knock or ring the bell. He swallowed a few times and finally...

"[Charles](https://49.media.tumblr.com/bbbd21baa74e0cb338cb960aeec3684f/tumblr_o2fia0QOAY1sgrr3ko1_250.gif) ?" Erik asked surprised when he opened his front door. 

"Hi, Erik." Charles gave him a little nervous smile

Erik blinked at him a few times as if he could not believe his eyes, as if Charles was a mirage.

Charles was probably the last person Erik expected to see ever, let alone at his doorstep like some lost puppy, finding its way back home. 

"What are you doing here?" Erik blurted out but then bit his lip, realizing how rude that might have came out "Not that I'm not glad to see you again! I just didn't expect to..." 

"I know this is weird, me coming here..." Charles was struggling to find the words "I just missed you... And I realize this sounds kinda creepy but I couldn't stop thinking about you so I just came here and... I just needed to see you again and-- I don't know... Maybe have coffee sometime? I want to see more of you." he was blabbing and he realized that but it was too late to stop himself now.

Erik blinked a few times, still processing the information. Charles felt his heart was racing inside his chest, he could hear his pulse in his ears, almost deafening. He realized that Raven was right. He only made things awkward coming here. 

"Of course, if, if, if you want me gone I won't bother you anymore." Charles added, stuttering a bit. 

"No!" was the first thing Erik said "You don't have to go. Umm... The truth is I was looking for you too."

There was a small, hardly noticeable blush on Erik's cheeks. Charles' eyes went wide with surprise "You have?" he asked not really believing it

Erik nodded with a little shy smile. "I’ve been hanging around that stupid club in hope to see you again. You—you just left…” Erik seemed so helpless, his [eyes](https://45.media.tumblr.com/f29c6772abb0c052f3c75579ba51ce2f/tumblr_n7sdyujBZR1ro95bto1_500.gif) so earnest. Charles was touched. "I thought I lost my chance... but I really really want to see more of you too."

After the initial whirlpool of emotions Charles finally spoke again, a playful smile on his cherry lips “Didn’t you kinda see a lot of me already?” he bit his lip and blushed at the memory of their night together.

Erik chuckled. “Maybe I want to see it again.” His voice was low; his smile couldn’t come off of his face. “Can I?”

Charles smiled and bit his lip again. This was ridiculous! But he nodded. “Yes.”

“Good!" Erik beamed and then realized he had forgotten to invite Charles in "Would you like to come in now? I have cold pizza..." 

Charles shook his head with a small laugh. "No, we should probably do this right." Erik seemed confused so Charles explained "Coffee, a date, movies, you know... daytime activities."

"Oh! I see what you mean." Erik nodded "I totally support you in this." 

"Mhm" 

"Mhm"

They were nodding at one another silently. 

"Can I just maybe wash my hands before I leave?" Charles spoke casually

"Be my guest!" Erik replied letting Charles in "I'll heat up the pizza." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Love Blossoms

"Charles, I hate you!" Raven burst into his room as usual first thing in the morning. "You've practically ignored me for the last two weeks! All I get is five texts!" she was glaring at the pile of rumpled sheets and a comforter that Charles was still lying under. She rolled her eyes with a huff "And quit pretending you're asleep! I'm not buying it!" 

The comforter moved and a face showed up from under there making Raven freeze. There was a face alright but it wasn't Charles'. 

"Ummm, do I know you?" she asked confused and a little embarrassed 

"You do now..." Erik smiled, sitting up. "Erik Lehnsherr. How do you do."

The formal phrase sounded ridiculous when uttered by a mostly naked man, covered in sheets in her brother's bed. 

"I'm looking for Charles..." Raven said, wondering why the hell was she still in that room "I'm his--"

"... sister Raven!" Erik finished for her "I've heard a lot about you." he smiled "He's taking a shower." 

"Oh" Raven nodded 

"Yes"

"Well, I've only heard a bit about you... and a few texts..." Raven said awkwardly

"Good to know he's mentioned me." the man grinned. 

 _Boy, that's a lot of teeth!_ Raven thought. She bit her lip. It was impolite to just leave but it was embarrassing to stay. She smiled again and nodded a few times. 

"So... did you sleep well?" she tried being polite since Charles seemed to like this guy but then cursed herself again when she saw how the man tried to bite back his grin when he replied 

"Yes, I did. It was lovely. Thank you." he said, a slight blush on his cheeks. 

"Okay, well, I'll be in the kitchen, making myself a coffee and you just... umm... "she furrowed her brow "On second thought, I'll come by later. Just tell Charles his sister Raven said hi." 

She was just about to turn around and walk out when she bumped into a very cheerful Charles who was just getting in the bedroom. His hair was still wet from the shower and a towel was wrapped around his waist.

"Raven!" he exclaimed joyfully "I didn't hear you come in!" 

"I used my key and I'm a ninja." she said absentmindedly 

Charles laughed. Erik joined in.

"I see you met Erik" Charles smiled, sharing a look with Erik

"You mean the naked guy in your bed? Yes, I met him." she rolled her eyes with an amused smile  

"We had a lovely chat." Erik confirmed 

"I can see what you like about him, Charles." she nudged him playfully

"Be nice, Raven!" Charles grinned "I can't wait till Tuesday when I'll introduce you to one another officially!"

Erik and Raven exchanged looks and simultaneously burst into a jolly laughter. 

"Is this really necessary? An official introduction?" Erik asked, grinning

"Yeah, how would it go, Charles?" Raven added just as amused as Erik. "Would it go something like: ' _Raven_ , _sis, remember Erik? The naked guy in my bed? That's him!_ _'?"_

"And you'll be like:  _'Oh, Charles, thanks for telling me. I didn't recognize him with his clothes on'"_ Erik supplied 

The both laughed some more.

"Good to know the two of you are already bonding on my expense." Charles rolled his eyes amused. 

On her way out Raven hugged Charles tightly and whispered. "I hope you're always this happy, Charles"

"Thank you!" 

She rubbed his arm with a fond smile and left. 

Charles really was happy. Him and Erik were dating for two weeks now and everything felt so right to Charles. There was no sign of his previous heartache. Erik made all the sorrow disappear. Erik was making him happy and by the looks of it the feeling was mutual. 

They spent most of their days together - in the park, at home, at that good pizza place that Erik found the other day, in Erik's bedroom, in Charles' bedroom, watching a movie every now and then but getting distracted; they ate breakfast, lunch and dinner together. The time they had to spend apart, they usually texted one another all the time. They had so much to talk about - little nothings that meant so much. It was not just the undeniable attraction, it was the way they talked, their conversations. Erik was a writer which Charles found fascinating. His books were all about meaningful observations and ideas about society and equality. As an academic himself, Charles found these writings even more stimulating than he otherwise would. They bonded on every level Charles ever needed to bond with someone on. It was like Erik was all Charles ever dreamed about collected in one person. 

There were also all those little things that Charles found so endearing about Erik. Like how Erik always used to put too much sugar in Charles’ tea, how he snuggled Charles burying his nose in his hair before they went to sleep, the way he played with the metal fork when they ate, the way he joked with Charles, his sense of humour, his thoughts, his opinions, the way he looked at Charles as if Charles was the brightest and most important thing in Erik's life.

It was definitely different from any other time Charles liked anyone. He’s never felt that way before and finally realization hit him that he wanted to spend the rest of his life like that, with Erik, wrapped in his embrace for eternity. Just the two of them suspended in time together. It was the beginning of a love and it was beautiful. Charles loved it and he was getting more and more convinced that he loved Erik too. However, he still hadn't told Erik that. There was this shyness that he could not overcome despite how close he felt to Erik. Was it even necessary to utter the actual words, when their every action was an evidence for the existing of that sentiment?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The food is delicious.” Charles smiled that evening

He had just gotten home from a late lecture he had to teach, to find Erik surprising him with a home cooked meal. If that wasn't endearing and screaming domestic bliss, Charles didn't know what was! 

"I'm glad you like it" Erik smiled at him, sitting down next to him and squeezing his hand lightly before starting his own plate.

"Sometimes you just seem so perfect" Charles said, blushing. He really wanted to tell Erik how he felt. Maybe tonight was the night?

Erik was playing with his metal fork. Charles smiled fondly at that. Another one of Erik's adorable habits - he kept playing with the metal. So cute.

"Trust me, I'm not perfect." Erik said with a gentle smile. "But I was thinking about something..."

Thinking? Why thinking? They were way too busy  _feeling_ why did he start thinking now!?

"Oh? About what?" Charles asked, eating his food and trying not to look too concerned. 

"I live so far away from here... Such distance..." Erik started and Charles felt a wave of relief all over his body. 

"It is  _too_ far from _me_ , yes." he agreed, pouting just a little bit to call that amused smile Erik got on his face whenever Charles did that. 

"... so I was thinking..." and there the smile was, his hand reaching Charles' once again "... maybe I could--" 

"Move in with me!" Charles blurted out at the same time Erik said "Rent a place closer to here" 

Silence. 

"Oh, um... yes, that sounds like the better idea." Charles nodded awkwardly. 

Erik was quiet, his brow furrowing. Charles felt the need to talk, he could not bear the silence. Clearly they were in different places in their relationship - Erik liked Charles a lot and was really fond of him and Charles was... well, planning their wedding! 

"We have pretty nice apartments around here. You won't regret it. This is a nice neighbourhood. I've always always thought so. I even tried to make Raven move in this area too. It's always good to be close... Not too close, of course! Not like sharing a flat with someone you only know for a month, but maybe you know just closer in the area like you said. That sounds, oh, so good!..." his thoughts were burning his mind, his mouth was blabbing on its own accord and his head was spinning. This was embarrassing. Did he ruin things now? Is the good part over? Is Erik going to leave just like Scott did?

Erik was still silent, seemingly deep in thought. 

Charles sighed. "Look, Erik" he started, his voice a bit more relaxed now, or maybe it was just a surrender; maybe he just gave up, "You don't have to take what I said too seriously. I get attached, I just do and it's okay if you're not quite there yet. Not that you ever have to get there, I'm not forcing you to--" 

"I love you, Charles." Erik cut him off

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean, you can feel the way you feel and it's all good and I don't expect you to--" he froze. Erik's words slowly sinking in "You what?" he asked, big blue eyes blinking in confusion 

"I love you." Erik repeated, eyes fixed on Charles. 

So yep! He really said it. Charles hadn't imagined it! 

"You love me?" Charles all but stuttered 

"I do." Erik said but he did not sound too happy about it, there was no excitement, no fireworks, just the dry and a bit too serious - bordering on melancholic - statement of a fact. 

But Charles was too happy and excited for the both of them to notice the strange mood Erik was in. "You love me!" he repeated once again, eyes sparkling, cheeks flushed, lips grinning, hands in the air. "You love me! And I love you, too!" 

Charles wrapped his arms around Erik tightly, almost knocking a few dishes at that. Erik's own arms found their place around Charles' back too and he held the other man tightly in his arms, kissing his head affectionately. "I love you, Charles. I love you." he whispered again a few times more and Charles felt he could stay in this moment forever, melt here and be happy. "I love you" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You really don't have many stuff..." Charles noticed while they were packing some of Erik's belongings. 

Erik was moving out of his flat and into... his new flat... Charles did his best to assure Erik that moving in with him was the better idea but the man was so stubborn! Charles listed all the pros of them living together, such as less rent, more cuddles, good food (actually, he meant Erik's cooking because he wasn't that good anyway but Erik needn't know that right away) and so on. But Erik kept refusing! It was frustrating and made Charles feel like a beggar. 

"We spend most of the time together anyway, you stay at my place almost every night." Charles tried one last time "What's the big deal? It won't even be much of a change if you move in with me officially." 

"I prefer to have my own place." was all Erik said. 

"I won't bite if we're sharing a flat." Charles said and added jokingly with a wink "Unless you ask me to." 

"I prefer to have my own place" Erik repeated again as if he was programmed to keep saying that. 

Charles gave up. "Fine. Your own place it is." he said, continuing with the packing

Erik coughed a bit and put down the box he was holding. "Please, don't be upset." he said, wrapping his arms around Charles' waist and pulling him in closer

"I'm not." Charles looked up at him, capturing his lips. 

Erik smiled into the kiss. When they pulled away they were both grinning. 

"Okay, let's continue with this" Charles said, starting on the packing with fresh strenth

Erik coughed again. 

"You okay?" Charles asked

"Fine. Allergies. Or dust." Erik replied, waiting for the coughing to stop and getting some water to ease it

"Oh, alright." Charles nodded "But there's hardly any dust here! Is cleaning your hobby?" he teased 

Erik rolled his eyes. "Don't complain, Xavier. I like things being in the right order"

"You still have so little things though." Charles noted again, looking at the stuff

"That's because I don't live here" Erik said matter-of-factly

Charles rewound it in his head. "You don't live here?" he asked

"No." Erik replied casually

“Oh?” Charles looked around “So this flat... is it abstract?”

Erik chuckled, rolling his eyes. "It's just the flat I rent whenever I'm in New York. I think I told you about this on our first date."

"I wasn't paying much attention to what you _said_ on our first date, really, I was mostly busy admiring your looks." Charles leaned in closer to Erik

"So superficial!" Erik chuckled again amused 

They continued with the kitchen stuff. 

"So where do you live then? When you're not in New York, I mean?" Charles couldn't believe he only asked Erik about this now. How did _this_ never come up before? 

"Remember that little town I told you I grew up in after my family came to the states?" 

Charles nodded. "Merry Rose, yes, I remember you told me about it." 

"Remember I told you I had a house there?" Erik looked at Charles, amused 

Charles nodded again. "Yes, you just never told me you lived there." 

"Not all the time, especially not lately but... yeah, that's my home." Erik said, wrapping the last box with kitchen stuff. "Done." he announced 

“Sounds so suburban!” Charles said thoughtfully

"What?" 

"Merry Rose. Sounds so suburban." 

Erik gave a little smile. “Yes." he said "It kinda is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night Charles and Erik were spending a cozy night at home on the couch, eating popcorn and trying to watch a movie but blabbering with one another instead and paying astoundingly little attention to the movie itself.

“You know, Ian McKellen’s going to be in town for a performance this year.” Charles said, stuffing his mouth with more popcorn “I was thinking… maybe we could go see him together?”

Erik chuckled, removing some of the fallen popcorn off of Charles' chest. “I sense this is important to you.” 

“It is! It’s Ian McKellen!” 

“The old man who played the bearded wizard with the stick.” Erik raised an eyebrow

“Gandalf!” Charles exclaimed “And that stick is called a staff! And yes, it’s him and he’s amazing!”

“I didn’t know he was your type.” Erik teased

“Careful what you say, mister, you kinda remind me of him.”

Another chuckle “Oh? You want me with a long beard, Charles?”

“Stop that!” Charles giggled “But really, you look alike... a little.

"Are you trying to tell me I'm an old man, Charles?" Erik smiled amused

"Well, not now! But like… I expect you to look like him when you’re his age.” Charles gave it a try to explain 

Erik’s smile faltered a bit, it got more melancholic but Charles thought he imagined it. Or perhaps Erik was so terrified of getting old. Strange, because Erik never struck him as a vain kind of person. It was still adorable though, Charles thought.

“So… will you go with me?” Charles asked with the sweetest smile he could muster.

“I’d love to.” Erik smiled as if pulled back to reality. “When is that play?”

“This Autumn.”

“Ah…” Erik laughed again “It’s only spring now. You make quite the long-term plans, Charles.” Erik said, his face unreadable.

Charles' face fell. "Well, I thought it was alright for us to-- I’m sorry… I was wrong to assume…Forget I said anything.”

This was not only embarrassing, it was painful too. Charles was already so deep in that it was hurtful to realize that Erik might not feel the same. Not that it made any sense! They were happy together for more than three months now, they were basically living together despite what Erik was saying about having his own place, Erik repeated and proved how much he loved and cared about Charles more times than Charles could count. Erik practically showed Charles his love in anything but words.

So why suddenly Erik assumed it's not very likely for them to be together this Autumn and go see the play?

“It’s okay.” Erik said, wrapping his arm tighter around Charles’ shoulders.  

"Yes. Okay." Charles forced a smile but in his head all he could hear was his own thoughts going  _He's not denying it! He actually does not expect you two to be together for that long..._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you probably guessed, the little town - Merry Rose - where Erik has a house - is as far as I know completely fictional. :)


	3. Love Ashes

"Morning!" Charles smiled sweetly at Erik when he saw he opened his eyes. 

"Morning!" Erik smiled back 

Charles put away the book he was reading and gave Erik a kiss. Erik kissed back and wrapped his arms around Charles. 

"This feels good." he hummed and Charles felt all happy and warm on the inside. 

"Yes, it does." Charles agreed, snuggling in Erik's embrace. 

Erik coughed a bit and Charles sighed. 

"You still have this allergy?" he asked

"Umm, yes." Erik replied quickly

He had to let Charles go and sit up a bit to cough some more. 

Charles frowned. "You're not having another fit, are you?" 

Erik shook his head quickly during his obvious cough fit. "No." and then he rushed to the bathroom. 

Charles was left frowning in bed for about 15 minutes, waiting for Erik to show up again. 

The bathroom door opened and Erik got out of there, looking tired, pale and thin. 

"Erik, I think you should go to the doctors and check this." Charles said "It could be a virus or something."

"I'm fine." Erik said, sitting down on the corner of the bed. 

"It's been going on for quite long now." Charles noted "I think you even coughed back when we met." 

"I said, I'm fine, Charles." Erik snapped

"Oh." Charles took a deep breath. "Of course. Alright. I'll go start breakfast." he said and quickly left the room, leaving Erik alone and short of breath. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" _Stubborn man!"_ Charles was muttering to himself as he was preparing their breakfast  _"Every time I mention his health and how he should take care of himself he does that! You have allergy, you have a cold, you breathe the dirty city air, go to the freaking doctor!"_

"Charles? Are you arguing with me in my absence?" he heard Erik's voice from the door frame. 

Charles jumped and almost threw the eggs in the air. "Erik, you startled me!" he complained 

"I'm sorry." Erik hung his head

Charles rolled his eyes. "It's fine." he said and continued with his cooking

"No," Erik pressed, "I meant, I'm sorry about what happened a few minutes ago." 

Charles looked back at him, ready to listen. 

"I--" Erik proceeded a bit awkwardly "I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did. You were only taking care of me, like you always do." 

"Yes, that is true." Charles said quietly looking at the frying pan.

"Yes, it is." Erik agreed and made a few steps closer to Charles. "I just hate this cough..." 

"So you should go and check it!" Charles insisted once again, earnest blue eyes staring back at Erik.

Erik wrapped his arms around Charles and berried his face in his boyfriend's hair the way he loved. "I know. I will." he said softly, taking in Charles' scent "I don't like admitting when I'm not completely healthy. I don't like hospitals. I don't want to go to a hospital, Charles." he hugged Charles tighter and whispered so quietly that Charles almost thought he imagined it "I'm scared... I'm so scared..." 

Charles' hand found its way up to Erik's head, petting it gently as he smiled and chuckled joyfully. "No body likes hospitals, Erik." he said "But there's nothing to be afraid of. It's either allergy as you said or some kind of cold. Either ways a doctor will tell you how to stop it." 

"Mhm." Erik hummed

"I can come with you, if you like?" Charles suggested

"No!" Erik objected quickly "It's fine. I'm not a child. I can take care of it. You don't worry." he said "There's nothing for you to worry about." 

"Well..." Charles said, pulling away a bit "There is _something_ for me to worry about..." he said, looking serious

Erik seemed almost panicky "What's that?" he asked, voice trembling 

"That our breakfast is gonna get burned if we go on hugging like this" Charles laughed 

Erik laughed too as he let Charles go and turned towards the stove himself to finish what Charles had started. 

"Mmm, burned breakfast, my favourite" he laughed some more. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days Charles felt as if Erik was trying to avoid him. At first he thought he was being ridiculous and imagining it but then even Charles had to admit that something wasn't the way it used to be. And that was terrifying him. 

Erik was behaving oddly. There was something off about the way he was acting and Charles couldn't quite tell what was happening. Was it something Charles had done? If yes, what was it? If no, why didn't Erik share his problems with his boyfriend?

For the last week Erik spent considerably less time with Charles and whenever they were together, it felt a lot like it was painful for Erik to be around Charles. Erik was getting distant, he was like a fading sunlight, slowly disappearing from Charles' life and all Charles could do was panic. 

He tried talking to Erik about it on several occasions but no results - Erik would not really talk about whatever was bothering him and Charles wouldn't press the matter too much. 

Finally when there was a full day of no news from Erik (something that was so unusual for them only two weeks ago), Charles began to worry even more than before. He tried Erik's phone but it seemed to be turned off. This revelation did not ease Charles' mind at all. All kinds of thoughts went through his mind, picturing Erik dying somewhere in an accident, all kinds of grim scenarios of the like flooding his head. In the afternoon he decided he could no longer stand this and took things in his hands. 

Erik had told him before about the little town near New York that he was living in. Charles knew the street, even though the exact address was still unclear to him. His idea was to go find Erik's house and finally understand what was happening and why was Erik acting so strange lately. Since Erik clearly wasn't in his New York flat or any of his usual spots where he was doing his writing, Charles assumed his boyfriend had to be in Merry Rose. 

The trip didn't take as long as Charles expected which left him a few more hours of daylight. Charles looked around and walked the streets, trying to imagine how little adorable kid Erik used to run around and play probably on this very street. He smiled involuntarily at the image in his head. This place, the atmosphere, the calmness, the whole vibe this neighbourhood gave was so positive and relaxing, Charles realized he himself would love to live here. And if one wanted to get rid of stress, Merry Rose was definitely the place. Probably Erik just decided to take a day off of the New York hustle to relax and meditate here for a while. Maybe that was the reason behind Erik's unusual distant behaviour lately, Charles thought. Maybe Erik needed the peace. Creative people were after all a little peculiar and Charles appreciated and respected that.

He looked for a person to ask where to find Erik. There was a [woman](http://images.amcnetworks.com/ifc.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/x_men_the_last_stand_1.jpeg) tending her garden and Charles took his chance.

"Excuse me?" he spoke and smiled politely "Hi, I'm looking for Erik Lehnsherr. I know his house is supposed to be somewhere around but I'm not quite sure which one it is..." 

The woman frowned a bit "Are you his friend? Or friend of Magda's?" 

Charles smiled "Magda? I thought his mother passed away." 

"She did." the woman replied casually "Magda's his wife." 

For a moment Charles could not hear or register anything. Erik had a wife? 

"Excuse me... his  _wife?"_ he repeated weakly 

"Yes." the woman continued 

Charles laughed but it sounded fake and forced in his own ears. "Perhaps there's been a misunderstanding. Maybe you're thinking of another Erik Lehnsherr..." 

"Highly unlikely." the woman shook her head "There's just one Erik Lehnsherr in this neighbourhood. The other Lehnsherrs are his kids." 

"K-kids?" Charles had difficulty breathing now. He took out his phone "This is the Erik I'm looking for." he said, showing her one of his favourite [pictures of Erik](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Film/Close_Up/Players/2012/9/5/1346839155586/Michael-Fassbender-010.jpg?w=460&q=85&auto=format&sharp=10&s=3ce76c91a2e5773753122a0724c35d7a) \- the one he took himself when Erik tasted Charles' cooking for the first time. "See? This is  _my_ Erik." Charles pointed at the picture a few times.

"Yes." the woman nodded "This is Erik Lehnsherr. My neighbour who lives across the street with his wife and twins." 

Charles looked at that direction helplessly. There was a nicely mowed lawn, two children's bicycles, the whole house looked nice and suburban. Charles thought he would faint. So many little things made sense now. Why Erik never took him here to show him the place, why Erik didn't think they'd be together in Autumn, why Erik suddenly got so distant. Erik had a family of his own and Charles wasn't a part of it. 

But of course maybe this was still just a misunderstanding! Maybe Erik had a wife but they were separated? Maybe there's some kind of an explanation? There had to be! 

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, the front door opened and he saw the wife - [Magda](http://31.media.tumblr.com/8f0220b7cc5a3e3f5aa7900c0e802020/tumblr_inline_min0wwQVDa1qz4rgp.gif) \- with Erik by her side. She was casually rubbing his arm as the two talked while two kids - a boy and a girl - were playing around them and laughing.

Charles paled even more. He could see this intimacy between them and he felt his heart breaking all over again. Part of him told him he should go in there and confront Erik about this, then tell Magda what kind of a man she married. But another part of him was so broken that it shouted, screamed in his head to leave at once, to go away unseen, to crawl into a cave and never go out of it again. 

"Are you alright, sir?" he heard the woman's voice from a distance and realized that she's been asking this for sometime now with him not noticing. 

"I--" he managed weakly. No need for the whole world to know what a fool he's been. "I'm fine. Thank you." 

"There's your Erik Lehnsherr." she said, pointing 

"Yes... no... I'll talk to him some other time..." he mumbled, avoiding everyone's eyes as he turned around "Thank you very much and have a nice day." he said and then... 

Erik incidentally looked up at Charles' direction and their eyes met.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charles felt his eyes watering. He needed space, he wanted to be someplace else; anywhere but here. He turned around again, preparing himself to leave when he heard Erik's voice loud and clear "Charles! Charles, please, wait!" 

Charles walked faster. He couldn't face Erik. Not now. He wasn't strong enough. 

Erik's footsteps chasing him echoed in Charles' mind as if that was the only sound that he could hear. That and Erik's voice calling and pleading every now and then. "Please, Charles! Let me explain!" 

Charles' legs were slow, weak. He couldn't move fast, he couldn't go far. There was no escape. He turned around quickly, facing Erik. 

 "Charles..." he breathed out, panting from the chase. "Charles... Please... let me expla--" 

"You're married!" Charles said weakly, his voice sounding like a whine in his own ears. "What is there to explain?"

"But Charles--"

"You're married, Erik!" Charles cried, this time enraged

"It’s not what it looks like..." Erik’s voice sounded weak and unconvincing

"How can it not be what it looks like!?” Charles was getting more and more frustrated by the minute. His anger was keeping him conscious, because he knew that if he wasn't enraged, he'd probably sob until his eyes go dry. “You’re married and you have two kids! You lied to me and you lied to her!” he was trying to calm his breathing “You lied to everybody, Erik."

Erik was silent, looking at Charles with wet eyes.

"I’m sorry, Charles.” He finally said “The last thing I wanted was to hurt you.”

Charles rolled his eyes with a bitter laughter. Was he seriously thinking Charles would care about his excuses!?

Erik went on talking. “What we had meant so much to me and I—“

“What we had?” Charles interrupted him, anger rising in his chest again. “Excuse me, did you just say ' _what we had_ '? What did we have exactly? Hmm? What was it? An affair? Was I your springtime adventure? Your gay experience? What was I!?”

“You were none of these things!" Erik cried out "I'm in love with you, Charles! I meant everything I told you.”

His voice was so pained, so broken, so pleading, Charles had to close his eyes and be very strong to not forgive and wrap his arms around Erik to comfort him. _He still lied. He was still married._

"When were you going to tell me?" Charles asked

Erik was quiet and Charles shook his head with a bitter laughter " _Were_ you going to tell me?" he amended

"I wasn't." Erik finally said, looking down.

"Were you going to leaving her?” Charles asked weakly

“Charles…” his voice sounded pained but Charles couldn't let this affect him.

“No, don’t Charles me." he said "Just say, were you going to leave her?”

Erik bit his lip. “No.” he said shortly. 

Another bitter smile on Charles’ part. “There we are then. You have your answer.” He said

"Ch-charles..."

“I don’t ever want to see you again.” Charles said and with that he turned his back to Erik and walked away without turning around.

He could feel Erik’s gaze on his back so he kept walking, quickening his pace. The road was getting blurry and it took Charles a few moments to realize that he was crying and his tears were dimming his vision. When he was sure Erik would not follow him again, he sat down on a lonely bench and wrapped his hands around his head, fingers fisting in his hair.

He only knew Erik for a few couple of months but everything about them felt so right as if they were meant to be and Charles foolishly let himself believe that this was it. The one, true love, and all those silly fairytale things people invented. And now it was all taken from him in a blink of an eye. And he was supposed to go back to his normal life as if nothing had happened… He didn’t just lose a boyfriend, he lost a dream, he lost a future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	4. Love Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback's in Italic as usual. 
> 
> I apologize in advance if I break your heart with this chapter! If it is any consolation, I did break mine while writing it! 
> 
> ~ Once again tank you for reading, you wonderful people! ~
> 
> P.S. Due to the fact that some of my readers aren't too thrilled about a sad ending, I'm currently writing an alternate, happy ending which I will publish shortly. If everyone prefers the happy ending, then I'll just delete this chapter :) Let me know your opinions once everything's published ^_^

Of course that was not the end of it. He had to eventually tell Raven about Erik and him. After all those weeks of talking her ears off about Erik Lehnsherr, after spending every free moment with Erik, after having Raven over for dinner with Erik there with them, it was going to be more than suspicious if he just shuts up about him. So naturally Raven asked and naturally Charles had to tell her.

“What a bastard!” Raven exclaimed.

“Yeah…” Charles sighed “I was in love with that bastard…”

"And he seemed so nice!" she continued "Even  _I_ liked him" 

"I know..." Charles sighed again "He seemed perfect." 

Raven put her hand on his to comfort him. “You’re a kind creature, Charles. And he’s an idiot! He can't appreciate you! His poor wife, stuck with him for life!”

“He had two kids too… twins… they were so cute… Probably around 8 years old.”

“Don’t call them cute! Don’t even think about him or his life anymore! He isn’t worth your time!” Raven announced

“I just really thought this was what I was waiting for…” Charles sighed again. It was no use putting on a brave face in front of his sister. Raven knew him better than anyone. Raven knew him better than himself. He could just let all his sorrow out and always find her shoulder to cry on. If anyone was going to stay in his life, always, that was Raven, not some boyfriend... even if it did seem like he came out of Charles' dreams. 

Charles sighed. It was a little frightening how quickly your wonderful dream could turn into a horrible nightmare.  _You used to be my dream come true, Erik; but then you turned into a nightmare I cannot wake up from._

"I really thought we were gonna grow old together..." he said, suppressing another sob. 

“I know, Charles.” She sighed with him, sitting closer to him on the couch. “At least you had your fun with him” she winked

Charles couldn’t help but give a little chuckle. Raven was impossible.

“Think of it this way” she continued, “you had the hot sexy Erik, still young and energetic, and his wife gets the old grumpy Erik that he's going to turn into from now on. You had a narrow escape there, Charles!”

“He was gonna look like Ian McKellen.” Charles whined again

Raven rolled her eyes. “Your obsession with Gandalf is beginning to worry me.” She said “We cannot let you go through this again. We need to get you out and—“

Charles looked at her, his eyes filled with sorrow and pain. She realized it was too early to 'get him out and get him some fun.' Not this time. Not after Erik. Erik was obviously different and she could now clearly see just how heartbroken her brother was.

She wrapped her arms tightly around Charles and kissed his head. “I love you, Charles!” she said warmly "You know that, right? I love you." 

He nodded and snuggled in her embrace. He didn’t need to talk, or explain anything, he just wanted to stay wrapped in her warm arms and wait for the pain to go away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pain didn’t go away that easily but Charles was trying to put up a front. He did the best he could to continue with his life as if nothing had happened, as if his whole world hadn't just shattered to pieces. Erik Lehnsherr was a taboo for conversations so he hardly ever mentioned him. Unfortunately, not talking about it was not the same as not feeling it or thinking about it.

He couldn't help the crying outbursts out of nowhere. He couldn't make the tears stop clouding his eyes. He couldn't always fake his smile. He couldn't forced his mind to shut up! 

He  _missed_ Erik. He  _missed_ their life together, he missed how happy they were. He missed Erik but Erik definitely did not miss him back. Charles felt even more pathetic now with his silly little love. 

Raven knew all about his feelings and that made him feel even more ridiculous and pathetic, feeling like an idiot for ever believing that Erik was something different, something special, something magical in his life. 

The days slowly passed. There was nothing for Charles to look forward to so eventually he stopped paying attention. He got up, cleaned himself, get ready for work, work, eat enough so that he doesn't faint and slept as often as he could. Sleep resembled death so much and this is exactly what he felt on the inside. It was his way of shutting the world, shutting his own mind. That was all he wanted now - peace of mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Saturday morning Raven burst into Charles’ flat, her hair messy and eyes wide.

“Raven, what the—?”  

“Charles, there’s something about Erik that you need to know.” Raven said, her face pale. "I've known it for a while... I wasn't sure if it was better for you to know it or not..." 

Charles blinked at her in confusion. “How come you know something about Erik that I don’t?” he asked

“I went to him two days ago, to give him a piece of my mind for what he did to you, for how he broke your heart…”

Charles huffed “Raven! You shouldn’t have done that!” he exclaimed, enraged "Do you realize how pathetic that makes me? I said I didn't want to see him again and I meant it! I don't want to know anything about Erik Lehnsherr, I don't want to hear from him, I don't care what he's doing or whom he's with, I just want to be left alone! And now you went there and made me look like a--" 

Raven closed her eyes and “Charles, he’s _dying_.” she blurted out

Charles burst into a crazy fit of laughter “No, he’s not! He’s just a huge drama queen, is all!”

“No, Charles, he actually _is_ dying.” Raven said, her voice deadly serious.

The whole world was silent for a moment. There was nothing in it, nothing Charles could notice. “H-he’s… he’s dying…?” he stuttered quietly “F-for real? W-what happened to him…? A car crash or—“

Raven took his hands and guided him back to sit on his bed again. “Erik was sick all along, Charles." she started her explanation, trying to be as gentle as she could ever be. "It's his lungs. Apparently his illness is in a too advanced stage... He never expected to live to see the end of the year, Charles."

Charles was frozen for a moment, the information slowly sinking in. 

"H-how long--?" his mouth was dry. He couldn't finish his question. 

"He knew for quite a while." Raven said, guessing his thoughts. "He made regular visits to New York for his treatment but even that wasn't really so much to cure him as it was to keep him going." she looked down and noticed Charles' hand was shaking where it was resting on his knee. She placed her hand on his, trying to comfort him "He knew he was dying before he met you, Charles.” 

Too many feelings and emotions flooded Charles in that moment but he ignored them all, getting up from the edge of his bed decisively and getting dressed in a clumsy hurry. 

"I have to--" he jerked his hand towards the door, jumping on one leg as he tried to put his trousers on.

Raven nodded. "I know. I'll come with you." she said "I know which hospital he's in."

Charles stopped midair "What?" he uttered confused "Hospital? He's already in a hospital!?" 

Another nod. 

Charles felt the tears returning in his eyes

"He can't be..." he breathed out, completely broken "He  _hates_ hospitals..." 

"I'm sorry, Charles." Raven didn't know what to say to make it better. 

Charles wiped his tears away and glanced at Raven. "Lead the way." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raven was driving because Charles was not to be trusted behind a wheel in his state.

Erik was in a hospital in New York but it took some time to get there so Charles' brain had a lot of time to torment him. Memories were piecing together in Charles' mind; things he never noticed about Erik and their time together were now filled with new meaning.

Erik's sad face when they first met; well, of course - he knew he was ill and not likely to last a year. He was probably getting drunk in that bar every evening; it hardly mattered to him anymore.

Erik giving the vibe that he didn't want a serious relationship; Charles thought it was because Erik was not certain of his feelings for Charles but maybe it was because Erik knew he had no time for anything serious...

Erik not letting Charles make plans for the future;

Erik's constant 'allergies'.

Erik's entire attitude whenever Charles mentioned his health, hospitals or doctors.

Erik had came to New York for his treatment only to discover that it was too late.

Erik refusing to spend whatever time he had in a hospital. Erik hated hospitals! And now he was in one.

"He was unconscious when they took him to the hospital..." Charles whispered in the passenger seat

"What?" Raven asked, trying to get faster to the hospital.

"He was unconscious when they took him to the hospital..." Charles repeated 

"Yes, he was." Raven said surprised "How did you know that? I didn't tell you that." 

"There's no way he'd go to a hospital deliberately." Charles sighed. 

Raven gave him a sad, compassionate look which luckily he missed to see. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**= 1 year later =**

"Charles? Are you coming?" Raven asked from the living room. 

Charles was sitting on the window sill, looking out at the rain pouring down the glass. The sky was grey and that in a combination with the rain made everything outside look grim. 

"In a minute." he replied. 

"Whenever you're ready, dear." Raven's voice sounded soothing. 

Charles was grateful he had Raven here with him. She practically moved in for the last months so that he wasn't alone. She took care of him, gave him strength. She was the reason he got up in the morning, ate food during the day, washed himself and went to work. He didn't want to make her more worried than she already was. 

Memories were flooding his mind over and over again. Memories from that day, particularly. 

_The day when he first saw Erik lying unconscious on that hospital bed. He heard a pained cry and it took him a while to realize that the sound had came out of his own throat._

_He saw Erik's wife - Magda - in there and bit his lip, thinking this might be a really awkward encounter. She seemed to know him even though they were never introduced and that confused him even more. So while they were both waiting for Erik to wake up, she told him her story - all of it._

_It was an arranged marriage. Both Erik and Magda were very young, they did it to please their parents. But they never truly felt like a husband and wife. She thought of Erik as a friend and he thought of her as a sister._

_"For the first 2 years we were more like children playing house than an actual married couple." she told him, lost in memories. It seemed both her and Charles needed something to take their minds off of the fact that Erik might not wake up any time soon, if at all. "We acted the way we were expected to but it never felt right. It was love, yes. But it wasn't the love a married couple should feel for one another."_

_Erik's words to Charles surfaced back in Charles' mind " **I love you** ". The timbre of his voice every time he had said it. The way he looked at Charles, the way he touched Charles. It felt so genuine and true. No one could've faked that. Charles realized Erik wasn't lying when he said it to Charles. Charles shut his eyes closed for a moment. He listened to her story quietly, waiting and **hoping** for Erik to wake up soon._

_"He told me about you, you know." she went on. Charles looked up. "He told me he met someone. He told me how amazing you were."_

_"You two talked about such things?" Charles asked surprised_

_She smiled at him warmly "I told you were were more like brother and sister than husband and wife."_

_"You have the twins so I thought--"_

_"That was a really long time ago while we were still trying to be... normal." she rolled her eyes at the word normal. "We tried to be what our parents expected us to be but..." she shrugged "It doesn't work that way, does it? He is a lovely father though!"_

_Silence._

_"He was right about your eyes, about how deep they were and how blue." she said again and Charles felt his heart getting heavier with each word_

_"He said that about me?" he asked, voice shaking_

_She nodded_

_"Magda, I have a--" Charles was hesitating "A really odd question." he finally said, looking her in the eye_

_"Go on?" she encouraged him "What about this situation isn't odd?"_

_He had to agree with her on that one._

_"Why didn't you and Erik get a divorce? I mean... if you two weren't really... if..."_

_She smiled softly. "There was no need, really. We had a nice life together. We had one another for support, we had the kids to look after. We never really felt the need to be free from this marriage, you see." she made a pause "Until now..."_

_Charles frowned confused._

_"He really loved you, Charles." she said "He loved you like he's never loved anyone before. He cried so much when I last saw him." her voice was shaking now,reliving the moment as she was telling Charles about it. "He cried because he found you too late and he wanted more time with you. But he knew that... that..."_

_At this point both Charles and Magda were crying. Erik knew that he was dying._

_"I understand!" Charles held her hand to comfort her, even though he was in need of comforting himself._

_The waiting was terrible. No one told them anything and they were all waiting for the worst. Finally a nurse came to tell them that Erik Lehnsherr had opened his eyes. Charles looked pleadingly at Magda to let him go first. She sighed and nodded. "He'd probably wish to see you more anyway." she said and sat back down in the corridor._

_Charles went inside with shaky legs. His heart was pounding in his chest, his head was spinning. Erik was lying in the hospital bed just the way he was awhile ago when he was still unconscious. Luckily this time his eyes were opened. He looked at Charles confused, not believing._

_"I think they gave me too much drugs, Magda..." he whispered "I see **him**..." _

_Charles' heart skipped a beat._

_"It **is** him!" he said, quickly taking Erik's hand in his own _

_"Not possible..." Erik was speaking with difficulty, his breathing was pained and slow._  

_Charles brought Erik's pale hand to his lips and started placing kisses all over it. The kisses got mixed with his tears but he couldn't help it. " **Now** is it possible? **Now** do you believe it's me?" he repeated a few times. _

_"Charles!" Erik let out a quiet gasp of joy "Charles! It's really **you**!" a weak smile graced his face _

_"It's **really** me..." Charles nodded, still keeping Erik's hand close to his face _

_"Charles... I'm sorry! I'm so very sor--"_

_Charles cut him off immediately "Don't! I understand now."_

_"I should've told you about Magda... You would've understood..." he said. Every word was difficult to say_

_"You should've told me you were sick, silly" Charles corrected him. At this point that little detailed seemed more important to Charles._

_Erik shook his head. "I couldn't." he said "At first I didn't think it'd last and then it was already too late... I should've warned you before you fell for me too, Charles..."_

_A single tear fell down Erik's cheek and Charles quickly wiped it away._

_"I would've stayed, y'know! What were you thinking? That I'd leave you if I knew? Never!"_

_Erik shook his head. He never even for a second had considered that Charles would abandon him._

_"I though it'd be easier for you to hate me than to mourn me" Erik said quietly, trying to wipe Charles' tears away with his shaky hand._

Even now, a year later, Charles still remembered how that hand felt on his face, how gentle and warm and thin and shaky it was. How even at his worst Erik still took care of him. 

_"See? You're crying now... I made you cry..." Erik let out a pained sigh_

_"Erik... **please**... " Charles whispered, begging him to stay alive, begging him to perform a miracle and not die. _

_Erik chuckled quietly "If only I could, Charles..." he whispered "Go see Gandalf for me, will you? Please?"_

_"Erik..."_

_"Please, Charles." he insisted weakly "Go see Gandalf, then walk down to the park, sit on that bench we like, yell at those idiots who pollute the park on my behalf, okay?"_

_Charles laughed through tears at the memory of Erik scaring off passers by when they threw their garbage in the park._

_"Please, Charles, when I'm gone, don't forget that you're alive. You're alive **now**. No idea for how long but you're alive now! And it's the now that matters so... make the best of it, my love." _

_"Don't boss me around." Charles said, trying to smile through his tears._

_"If not now, when?" Erik grinned weakly "Now's my chance to boss you around."_

_"Oh, my love" Charles said, pressing another kiss to Erik's hand "I couldn't disobey you even if I wanted."_

 

Erik died three months later. It was indeed right before the play Charles wanted to see those months ago. There was a funeral, there were roses, there was Charles with Raven and Magda with the kids. There were tears, there were words. 

But there was no Erik anymore. Nothing left but memories. All those precious memories that Charles would treasure for the rest of his life. 

Charles did see the play with Ian McKellen. He felt his heart was heavy so he asked Magda and the kids to join him. Somehow that made it easier for him. Somehow Erik brought them together, made them friends and even a family of sorts. In a way having Erik's kids around was helping both Charles and Magda to keep a piece of him alive; making them feel like they were not alone. 

"Chaaaaaaaarles!" Raven called him once again and he snapped back to reality. Right. They were on their way to visit Erik's grave. 

Secretly Raven wished Charles had never met Erik. Secretly Charles agreed that not knowing Erik would've meant less pain for Charles. But even so Charles would never trade one memory with that man for anything. It was  _ **their love, their time, their memories**. _ And no matter how hard life got, no one and nothing could ever take those away. Because we're all stories in the end; and the better the story, the sweeter the end. 


End file.
